The Riaky Road #2; Musings from the Author

Note: this blog is long and full of errors

I packed my office today. Not my work office, but my at home one. The office where I was building my YouTube Career, writing my blog, and storing a bunch of junk that I never used. I rolled up my green screen, unplugged my desktop computer, and peeled all of the posters off of the walls. I carefully unscrewed every camera light, packed up some keepsakes into boxes labeled "leaving in Atlanta," and I filled 2 heavy duty trash bags with old papers, broken pencils, and water damaged photos that were beyond repair - and left the room feeling just as empty as my budding Social Media Channels and Writing Pathways - still very cluttered and unorganized.

The whole experience was very exhausting, I did work a full day after all - got home at 7 and then subsequently proceeded to my office to begin the second grind. But it was also very emotionally fatiguing - how have I accomplished so little in the 2 years that we have had the space - all the days I spent NOT writing the next great American Fantasy novel, NOT working on my YouTube channel, NOT writing on my Blog, Not vacuuming that increasingly gross carpet that is the primary reason the door stayed SHUT when company was over. But it was a heavy reminder about one of the things that sparked the decision to move to New York in the first place - a feeling of stagnation, a feeling that I have become so complacent just making it that I have forgotten that in order to accomplish what I truly wish to accomplish I need to put in the work. I need to challenge myself, push myself further beyond where I have ever been before, and ultimately, I need to break open the walls of my box of complacency and DO what my life is meant to Do. I need to shake the dust of my dreams just as much as that I needed to clean that office.

It's easy to be comfortable - and I have been so lucky to have earned comfort. I work a job that I am just good enough at to convince others that I am the best person who can ever do that job - though my impostor syndrome hears feedback and thinks to myself two things - I can't possibly be that good at anything, AND if I am this good at doing something that I like, imagine the impact that I can have when I do something that I love.

What is the moral of this post in particular? - it's okay to be comfortable, but you can't be comfortable and grow. Shaking things up doesn't have to be as drastic as moving to a new city, but sometimes you need to reflect on what is not working to create new ideas and generate new journeys. For us, this new journey takes a literal "out with the old, and in with the new,"approach. It will not be comfortable - so hopefully we keep it so that it doesn't become a cluttered at home office. The list of things we are hoping to gain from this experience are numerous, but more education, meeting new people, getting out of the house and into the city a lot more while we are young, and basically living life while we still have lives to live, are all things that will be uncomfortable, yet will re-energize us and shape us into a stronger set of people who know what it is like to break boundaries of comfort. Also, such a drastic change with new experiences has undoubtedly GOT to fuel the creative muse with some new writing ideas. Fingers crossed.